Sunday, November 17, 2013

Missing it

Last day at the apartment.
I'm going to miss this place. The after memories more so.
My friend just went to grab beef patties.
I'm having a wonderful night


New new tablet
This one has two nice cameras
I like it better than the other one

Friday, November 15, 2013


Almost everyday I think about the baby
Talking is helping but it doesn't make it better
She would still be with me.
Andnshes not
I feel like its my fault.
Like I did something wrong
It was so scary
Mom wasn't very supportive
Baba said it would come out a freak
When in fact it doesn't
She would have come out fine
I don't like this
I feel like I'm whining
But I feel so alone
Coming to the apartment is a nightmare
I wanna break all the bottles
But I can't all I can do is cry

Camera whore

I can't help it
The tablet is new and shiny
Wish it had a camera on the back but oh wells


Today looks like a nice day

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Tomorrow looks gd

Next champagne


I'm really insecure sometimes but I do really only mean the best, just don't wanna say the wrong thing



I don't no no I do
I like rock
Just putting music on the tablet

New tablet

My uncle got me a tablet. I love it
It'll be good for school.

a teenager is boy boy boy now what am i left with

I was so caught up in love it left me blind. but i am getting better. i got sick a while ago, bad bath salts.
but its okay now. they stopped talking so nothing bad is there and everything is good.

But we're going to a movie at the end of the month. im glad he still wants to be friends. cause after everything i fell so alone biut this is just the opportunity to love myself and grow independant. we're on a break but i dont knw if he'd want to be with me. i dot see anything great about me.
i've been too lazy to practice pixels which sucks
i dont really know what i want to do with my time. i waste it all but i am starting the learn program for my ged next week so everything will go well. i still have to make an appointment for my welfare worker, if only i could find the paper. oh wells
what else is new? my family visits until this friday i think we're on thursday so they leave tomorrow. then maybe im allowed to have justin over. which will be fun, maybe i'll have some money and we could do some shit. i dont want anything romantic im hung up over corey. but if he;'s looking for fun it'll be fun, nothing sexual i know my rules. i'd have to e dating the person, corey is the exception.
which sucks cause once he called me gross when the voices were so loud and tekllling me im the wrong person. it haunted me. now im on medication so im tbetter and they dont bother me.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Hello world

Just sayin hello

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

41 Express just passed ... why isnt the hospital a major stop?

I went with angie to my dr appointment. we talked about the misscarraige and how 1 in 3 preg women misscarry. not my fault. it happens.
its just im so far from where i want to be and he left.
he wasnt that great anyways. ive been lying to myself.
maybe it was just sex. i love him but moveon
because he left over a year ago.
the voices started last year in july after bath salts.
bad bathsalts.
weed calms them and makes them funny so i dont mind.
lilly/micheal would have been born in january so christmas and new years will be hard
but i pln to quit smoking for new years
anyways dinner now/.


Dear Sir;
I am tired of the talking. I want some me time.
Being alone is depressing but I'm strong
Ican do anything
I am going to learn nd get my ged
I'm excited I'm going next week
I'll be prroud of me.

Monday, November 11, 2013

happy remembrance day.


Trouble still hasn't come home yet
I'm finally over my ex and I don't rele knw why I liked him in the first place. Anyways things are getting better. I installed blogger on my phone so ican blog more.
If trouble was herre id share a picture.
My face is breaking out! One week left with all these lithuanians. Then justin comes oveer. I don't knnow what we are gonna do but I'll think of something.
Bye for now


happy remembrance day.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

a kiss on the cheek

i think i died last night.
yes, i'm one of those women, fell in love nd got blinded. but you see we moved in together off the bat and thats cause we were homeless. anyways  we were too close together. and seeing eachopther once in a while as friends is nice.
its nice to have a friend to talk to. and i dont get offended when he gets mad anymore :) i realise my wrongs but it aint the end of the world. and thats important.
anyways i walked home and didnt realise how much i cnt stand myself but im ignoring it, giving blogging a try

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

today is nice

should i be extra excited?
 i dont know what to say or do.
 But he's coming over tonight.
 nothing like relationship wise just company.
 didnt expect it.
 so im bubbbly inside and happy
. and his friend only asked to hang out so it's okay right?
 this break is painful. but it was what he wanted. and im glad we can still be friends.

Friday, November 1, 2013

it's weird. it's painful. it's confusing. it's life.
we only get to make our own choices. duh.
other peoples choices you have to deal with.
this breakup took a toll on me but was it really as amazing as i thought it was. we fought a lot. maybe now i get to keep a friend instead of losing one. that is if im even wanted as a friend. i dont have mny friends because i cut everyone out once i started dating. wish i didnt but its okay. i do miss him though.
i left my sketch book there and i dont know what to draw anyways, following my art book.
i want to revamp the site but i dont know how to code blogger layouts . i can make a header but i dont know what to draw.